If Brady Could Talk

My neckline is very wet. Why do I keep drooling? How do I make that stop? Why do people keep pointing that little machine at me and making funny noises? This thing is great. I push the buttons and it makes that big thing on the wall do different things. Can I keep this? What kind of call was that? That pitch was clearly low. Are you blind? How can that not be a strike?

This is great! I love baseball! Bring me here more often!